YOU GOT THE LYRICS WRONG, DILWEED!
Okay, here’s the setup. People often sing along to songs when they don’t really know the words. What they think they heard are not the actual lyrics… and the dichotomy between the two versions creates humor of a sort. Enjoy.
Livin’ On a Prayer – Bon Jovi
Actual lyrics: It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not.
Misheard: It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not.
Like A Virgin - Madonna
Actual lyrics: Like a virgin, touched for the very first time.
Misheard: Like a virgin, touched for the thirty-first time.
You Sexy Thing - Hot Chocolate
Actual lyrics: I believe in miracles.
Misheard: I remove umbilicals.
Take a Chance on Me - Abba
Actual lyrics: If you change your mind, take a chance, I’m the first in line, take a chance.
Misheard: If you change your mind, Jackie Chan, I’m the first in line, Jackie Chan.
Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds - The Beatles
Actual lyric: The girl with kaleidoscope eyes.
Misheard: A girl with colitis goes by.
(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life - Bill Medley
Actual lyric: Now I’ve had the time of my life. No, I never felt like this before. Yes, I swear it’s the truth. And I owe it all to you.
Misheard: Now I’ve had the time of my life. No, I never felt like this before. Yes, I swear it’s the truth. And I owe it all to white privilege and generational inheritance.
I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
Actual lyric: I love rock n’ roll So put another dime in the jukebox, baby.
Misheard: I love rock n’ roll So spend a little time on my tik tok, lady.
All I Want for Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey
Actual lyric: All I want for Christmas is you, baby.
Misheard: All I want for-giveness for is my rash of senseless murders in the 70’s.
Great Balls of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis
Actual lyric: Goodness gracious, great balls of fire.
Misheard: Goodness gracious, massive testicles of flame.
Billie Jean – Michael Jackson
Actual lyric: Billie Jean is not my lover She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one, but the kid is not my son.
Misheard: Billie Jean is not my lover She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one that molested scores of children and got away with it.