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  • Links
  • About
  • Video
  • Audio
  • Found
  • Comics
  • Words
    • Scott Poem
    • God Looks Through Ozone Hole
    • Infant's Finger Painting
    • Lady Satan Rehashed
    • Poltergeist Proof
    • Innocent Goat Man
    • Bowl of Mush
    • 200 Celebration
    • Earthworms
    • Why My Willy is Like Icons of the 70's
    • AI Writes Transformative Hotdog Song
    • Ghost of Widow's Husband
    • Babies Are Useless
    • Monk Urine Is Cleaner
    • George Santos Lies
    • BTS: What Does it Mean
    • Zookeeper Cuts Off Arm
    • HYDROMAN REHASHED
    • I Watch the Super Bowl
    • Tales of Terror - Hold My Hand
    • Oh How He Sat
    • The Change
    • You Got the Lyrics Wrong, Dilweed
    • Woman Chokes on Fortune Cookie
    • The Moon Must Be Stopped
    • Quora Questions
    • My Husband's Inappropriate Remarks
    • Family is a Cult
    • The Price of Success
    • Tales of Terror: The Baby
    • Spot the Differences Army of Darkness
    • I'm All Over It
    • Automatic Thank You Letter
    • Clueless Man
    • What's Buggin You?
    • Child's Playmate is Son of Satan
    • Ask An Expert
    • True Tales of Terror: High Beams
    • Slander Zendaya Buries Puppies Alive
    • Henry Cavill Fired as Superman: Races to Horse to be Paralyzed
    • Crappy Little Free Library Is No Amazon
    • Christmas Wish List
    • Extremist Americans Furious With Extremist Germans
    • Batman vs Hulk
    • Elon Musk Fires Himself
    • Congrats on Your Dumb Baby
    • What I'm Thankful For
    • Donald Trump Blames Matrix
    • Terror Within
    • What Scares You
    • Halloween Candy
    • Adult Happy Meal
    • Horror Movie Life Lessons
    • Dudley Dursley
    • Yellow Ribbon
    • Empty Nesters
    • Haunted Womb
    • Wolfman of Steel
    • Tales of Terror: Hook
    • After All
    • Elf on a Shelf Spin Offs
    • Pie
    • Baby Poetry
    • Florence of Arabia
    • Alec Baldwin Ten Percent
    • Wife TV Shows Bachelor
    • Breakfast Theresa
    • Sexy Demogorgon
    • Where Is My Toe
    • Pinocchio Protest
    • Vegas Disasters
    • Cosby Helps with Anesthesia Shortage
    • Taco Bell Toilet Suicide
    • Ukrainian Mad about Plants
    • Horror For Kids
    • Slander: Britney Spears
    • Elevator Operator
    • Chickens
    • Risk He Had To Take
    • Best Horror
    • Slander: Harry Styles
    • Beautiful Pony
    • Top Ten Wife TV
    • Civil War Essay
    • Aquatica Boy
    • Slander: Tom Holland
    • Abraham Lincoln
    • BatBoy
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WHY MY WILLY IS LIKE ICONS OF THE SEVENTIES

My Willy is like...

BELLBOTTOMS - because they are slim at the top, wide at the bottom, and they drag in the dirt. 
 
THREE'S COMPANY - because it's fine with two girls and a guy on it, but things get tricky when Mr. Roper shows up. And did I remember seeing comic actor Don Knotts on it once?

A FAKE GOLD CHAIN - because a lot of men wrapped it around their necks in the seventies and their skin turned green.

CHER - because neither of them enjoy Sonny Bono's clammy little hands all over them.


CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND - because it’s spooky, thought-provoking, and the last decent thing Spielberg ever did.
 
A PET ROCK - because it’s pointless, costly, and comes in a box. 

THE DONNY AND MARIE SHOW - because it's something the whole family can enjoy until they trot out their annoying little brother Jimmy.

STRETCH ARMSTRONG - because I’m warning you, if you stretch it too far, it will never spring back and then it’s ruined.

THE FIRST APPLE COMPUTER - because no one had any idea how big it would become. (Oh, and I hate Steve Jobs. That’s not about my willy; it’s just true.) 
 
THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE - because it once pinned Gene Hackman upside down.

THE WALKMAN - because it’s too big to fit in your pocket, but do you really want to be seen with it hanging over your belt?

BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY - because it's way too long and unwieldy, but had a surprising resurgence in popularity thanks to Michael Myers.

THE BRADY BUNCH - because people of a certain age remember it fondly even though it was never very good.

POLAROID CAMERAS - because you point it at someone and then wait to see what develops. 
 
PUFNSTUF – because it’s easier to understand why you’re watching it if you’re on shrooms.
 
A MOOD RING - because it changes colors based on how hot things get.
 
PLANET OF THE APES - because if you cover him up with enough make-up you can’t tell that he looks like Roddy McDowell.
 
THE BICENTENIAL - because it only comes once every 200 years.

SHRINKY DINKS - because... well, that's pretty obvious isn't it? 


 


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