Yes, there are a lot of crazy, unexplainable, and downright stupid laws on the books of towns across America and if you’re not careful, you might violate one without even knowing it!
It is illegal in San Francisco to intentionally mispronounce “Pho” to sound like a swear word to make your friends giggle.
It is against the law in Maine to sell balls of pig lard, cow knuckles, and scrod and claim that it’s a “healthy” side salad.
In 49 of the 50 states, it is a capital crime for a woman to take away the god-given rights of rich white men to control her personal reproductive rights. (Just kidding! It’s 50 out of 50 states.)
Sorry. It’s against the law in Hawaii for an unmarried couple to make “the beast with two backs” unless supervised by a licensed professional. (Professional doctor? Professional plumber? It doesn’t say.)
The punishment for jaywalking in Houston, Texas is tying each of your limbs to a different horse with high-quality hemp rope and then swatting the horses on their flanks so that they run in four different directions. They rarely have a repeat offender.
To protect the fragile children of Mesa, Arizona, it is a felony to sing Aerosmith’s “Dude Looks Like a Lady” at any time for any reason.
In Seattle, Washington, you can be arrested for wearing live human underwear on your head in public.
Throughout the southwest, it is illegal to yell the word “peanut” in a crowded school cafeteria.
In New York City, it’s against the law to remind me that I’m older, heavier, and less attractive than the last time you saw me.
In the great state of Montana, it’s a felony to use the word “supposably.”
It’s a sin and a crime in South Carolina to worship anyone other than the one true god – whoever that is.
In Baton Rouge, Louisiana, it’s illegal to spit in the mayor’s face more than 15 times in one calendar day.
It is a misdemeanor to undulate in Butterbath, Missouri.
It’s against the law, at least in Little Fork, Kentucky, to slap a toad for the purposes of sexual gratification (for either you or the frog.)
On the 2nd Tuesday of the month in Dipwillow, Arkansas, you’ll get a hefty ticket if you try to wear white skin after Labor Day.
In Los Angeles, California, it is legally unacceptable to charge more than $75 for a movie theater Coke.
In Salt Lake City, Utah, it’s against the law to kick a mule when all the mule did was try to be polite to someone who was new in town, not to sexually harass anybody, geez.
To foster inclusivity and avoid profiling in Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is a crime to abduct one child from a group without abducting all of them. It’s only fair.