TALES OF TERROR
One evening after a long day’s work, a woman stopped at a local tavern for a drink. Now, number one, women shouldn’t be working, and number two, they sure as hell shouldn’t be drinking, but that’s beside the point.
When the woman, let’s call her Zenee Rellwegger, when she left the bar, she thought she noticed a strange man watching her as she got into her car. And as she pulled out of the parking lot, she saw a car pull out right behind her.
She tried to ignore the other car, but when she stopped, the other car stopped. When she turned left, the other car turned left. When she was paying attention to her phone and drove up on a curb, the other car drove up on a curb. It was clearly following her. And then it turned on its high beams, flooding her car with light.
Zenee quickly turned onto the freeway and increased her speed well past the speed limit, as women are want to do, hoping to leave her pursuer behind. But he stuck to her like glue, or like those press on nails that stick like glue, and every few minutes he would turn on his high beams, once again flooding her car with light.
Now Zenee was getting really scared. As she pulled off the freeway, she tried to call the police on her cell phone, and nearly ran over a family of four in the process, but her phone was dead – because she never paid attention to how much battery was left and always wasted it watching TikToks. She raced for home, hoping against hope that she could reach there safely.
Zenee pulled into her driveway, brakes screeching, and ran into the house to plug in her phone. Outside, she could see the other car pulling into her driveway! She immediately dialed 911 and told the police about the man who had followed her home.
The police arrived within minutes (okay, obviously this part of the story isn’t true, but just go with it) and pulled into Zenee’s driveway, leaping out with guns drawn. Zenee pointed at the strange car and told the police to get the creep who followed her home.
The man got out of the car. Clearly he was white, because the police didn’t shoot him on sight, but that’s not the point. He called out to the police saying, “You don’t want me! You want HIM!”
The man pointed at Zenee’s car and all of the officers turned their weapons on her vehicle.
“I saw a strange man with a knife get into the backseat of her car at the bar,” the white man explained. “So when she left, I followed her. Every time the man with the knife rose up to kill her, I turned on my high beams. Her car flooded with light and the man with the knife ducked back down so he wouldn’t be seen.”
Now it all made sense to Zenee. This man hadn’t been trying to hurt her; he’d been trying to save her!
The police flung open the backdoor of her car and opened fire, riddling the car with bullets. When the smoke had cleared, one of the officers poked his head into the backseat.
“There ain’t nobody back here,” he said, scratching his head.
“So long suckers!” said the white man in the other car as he peeled out, laughing hysterically, and was never seen again.
“Well, serves you right for going out alone and dressed like that,” one of the police officers said to a stunned Zenee. “You was asking for it!”