And Oh How He Sat

 
The traveler had been on his feet a long time, a very long time, and he was weary.
 
The chair looked more than inviting.
 
It was an unassuming seat at first glance, with a classic cantilevered back, thin Brazilian redwood legs, and a contemporary, trend-forward vermillion cushion. But on closer examination, this upbeat but playful chair was a bold and eclectic statement piece symbolic of man’s inhumanity to man. 
 
Designed in the early 1500’s for the Czechoslovakian embassy by Pascintalio DePuce, a Peruvian born architect by way of Brazil, the bespoke piece’s stark futuristic silhouette and visual complexity was complimented by a disquieting simplicity. 
 
The sophisticated asymmetrical seat itself was Ugandan foam hand-covered with rich Moldovan batting enclosed in muslin sheathing and wrapped in the professionally tanned hide of the aboriginal wood mouse of Madagascar, but resembled nothing short of a plush virgin cloud woven from the individually plucked hairs of a mating dove on its first birthday.
 
Like the Windsor Chairs of ancient Liechtenstein, the exquisite workmanship required master craftsmen to effortlessly combine brushed steel, imported faux leather, kiln-dried cornflower teak, and alabaster velvet knit in a revolutionary post-modern style that conveys the essence of sitting without overwhelming the sitter.
 
It was like nothing he had ever seen before and finally, inevitably, the weary traveler lowered himself gently down into the chair, the concave Balinese mahogany conforming perfectly to his swollen red backside. 
 
At long last.
 
He sat.
 
And oh how he sat.