THEFLAGRANT.COM
  • Links
  • About
  • Video
  • Audio
  • Found
  • Comics
  • Words
    • Boy Pulled From Well
    • Bride and Seek
    • Boneless Baby
    • Harry Houdini
    • Conch Shell
    • Nun Possessed by Streetwalker
    • Keanu Reeves Sleeping Narcolepsy
    • Demons in Wallpaper
    • Make a Wish Boy Hates Disneyland
    • Man Evolved From Ferrets
    • Famous Women in Pictures
    • Tucker Carlson Fired
    • Good Dead
    • Surgeon Grafts Hands
    • Jefferson Advises President
    • Twinfidelity
    • Wacky Laws
    • Sexual Psychic
    • Surgeon Grafts Hands
    • Gutsy Granny Jump
    • Twinfidelity
    • Wacky Laws
    • Bigfoot Baby
    • Drake is not a Duck
    • Einstein Ghandi or Hitler
    • What Would You Prefer
    • The Confession
    • Scott Poem
    • God Looks Through Ozone Hole
    • Infant's Finger Painting
    • Lady Satan Rehashed
    • Poltergeist Proof
    • Innocent Goat Man
    • Bowl of Mush
    • 200 Celebration
    • Earthworms
    • Why My Willy is Like Icons of the 70's
    • AI Writes Transformative Hotdog Song
    • Ghost of Widow's Husband
    • Babies Are Useless
    • Monk Urine Is Cleaner
    • George Santos Lies
    • BTS: What Does it Mean
    • Zookeeper Cuts Off Arm
    • HYDROMAN REHASHED
    • I Watch the Super Bowl
    • Tales of Terror - Hold My Hand
    • Oh How He Sat
    • The Change
    • You Got the Lyrics Wrong, Dilweed
    • Woman Chokes on Fortune Cookie
    • The Moon Must Be Stopped
    • Quora Questions
    • My Husband's Inappropriate Remarks
    • Family is a Cult
    • The Price of Success
    • Tales of Terror: The Baby
    • Spot the Differences Army of Darkness
    • I'm All Over It
    • Automatic Thank You Letter
    • Clueless Man
    • What's Buggin You?
    • Child's Playmate is Son of Satan
    • Ask An Expert
    • True Tales of Terror: High Beams
    • Slander Zendaya Buries Puppies Alive
    • Henry Cavill Fired as Superman: Races to Horse to be Paralyzed
    • Crappy Little Free Library Is No Amazon
    • Christmas Wish List
    • Extremist Americans Furious With Extremist Germans
    • Batman vs Hulk
    • Elon Musk Fires Himself
    • Congrats on Your Dumb Baby
    • What I'm Thankful For
    • Donald Trump Blames Matrix
    • Terror Within
    • What Scares You
    • Halloween Candy
    • Adult Happy Meal
    • Horror Movie Life Lessons
    • Dudley Dursley
    • Yellow Ribbon
    • Empty Nesters
    • Haunted Womb
    • Wolfman of Steel
    • Tales of Terror: Hook
    • After All
    • Elf on a Shelf Spin Offs
    • Pie
    • Baby Poetry
    • Florence of Arabia
    • Alec Baldwin Ten Percent
    • Wife TV Shows Bachelor
    • Breakfast Theresa
    • Sexy Demogorgon
    • Where Is My Toe
    • Pinocchio Protest
    • Vegas Disasters
    • Cosby Helps with Anesthesia Shortage
    • Taco Bell Toilet Suicide
    • Ukrainian Mad about Plants
    • Horror For Kids
    • Slander: Britney Spears
    • Elevator Operator
    • Chickens
    • Risk He Had To Take
    • Best Horror
    • Slander: Harry Styles
    • Beautiful Pony
    • Top Ten Wife TV
    • Civil War Essay
    • Aquatica Boy
    • Slander: Tom Holland
    • Abraham Lincoln
    • BatBoy
  • Links
  • About
  • Video
  • Audio
  • Found
  • Comics
  • Words
    • Boy Pulled From Well
    • Bride and Seek
    • Boneless Baby
    • Harry Houdini
    • Conch Shell
    • Nun Possessed by Streetwalker
    • Keanu Reeves Sleeping Narcolepsy
    • Demons in Wallpaper
    • Make a Wish Boy Hates Disneyland
    • Man Evolved From Ferrets
    • Famous Women in Pictures
    • Tucker Carlson Fired
    • Good Dead
    • Surgeon Grafts Hands
    • Jefferson Advises President
    • Twinfidelity
    • Wacky Laws
    • Sexual Psychic
    • Surgeon Grafts Hands
    • Gutsy Granny Jump
    • Twinfidelity
    • Wacky Laws
    • Bigfoot Baby
    • Drake is not a Duck
    • Einstein Ghandi or Hitler
    • What Would You Prefer
    • The Confession
    • Scott Poem
    • God Looks Through Ozone Hole
    • Infant's Finger Painting
    • Lady Satan Rehashed
    • Poltergeist Proof
    • Innocent Goat Man
    • Bowl of Mush
    • 200 Celebration
    • Earthworms
    • Why My Willy is Like Icons of the 70's
    • AI Writes Transformative Hotdog Song
    • Ghost of Widow's Husband
    • Babies Are Useless
    • Monk Urine Is Cleaner
    • George Santos Lies
    • BTS: What Does it Mean
    • Zookeeper Cuts Off Arm
    • HYDROMAN REHASHED
    • I Watch the Super Bowl
    • Tales of Terror - Hold My Hand
    • Oh How He Sat
    • The Change
    • You Got the Lyrics Wrong, Dilweed
    • Woman Chokes on Fortune Cookie
    • The Moon Must Be Stopped
    • Quora Questions
    • My Husband's Inappropriate Remarks
    • Family is a Cult
    • The Price of Success
    • Tales of Terror: The Baby
    • Spot the Differences Army of Darkness
    • I'm All Over It
    • Automatic Thank You Letter
    • Clueless Man
    • What's Buggin You?
    • Child's Playmate is Son of Satan
    • Ask An Expert
    • True Tales of Terror: High Beams
    • Slander Zendaya Buries Puppies Alive
    • Henry Cavill Fired as Superman: Races to Horse to be Paralyzed
    • Crappy Little Free Library Is No Amazon
    • Christmas Wish List
    • Extremist Americans Furious With Extremist Germans
    • Batman vs Hulk
    • Elon Musk Fires Himself
    • Congrats on Your Dumb Baby
    • What I'm Thankful For
    • Donald Trump Blames Matrix
    • Terror Within
    • What Scares You
    • Halloween Candy
    • Adult Happy Meal
    • Horror Movie Life Lessons
    • Dudley Dursley
    • Yellow Ribbon
    • Empty Nesters
    • Haunted Womb
    • Wolfman of Steel
    • Tales of Terror: Hook
    • After All
    • Elf on a Shelf Spin Offs
    • Pie
    • Baby Poetry
    • Florence of Arabia
    • Alec Baldwin Ten Percent
    • Wife TV Shows Bachelor
    • Breakfast Theresa
    • Sexy Demogorgon
    • Where Is My Toe
    • Pinocchio Protest
    • Vegas Disasters
    • Cosby Helps with Anesthesia Shortage
    • Taco Bell Toilet Suicide
    • Ukrainian Mad about Plants
    • Horror For Kids
    • Slander: Britney Spears
    • Elevator Operator
    • Chickens
    • Risk He Had To Take
    • Best Horror
    • Slander: Harry Styles
    • Beautiful Pony
    • Top Ten Wife TV
    • Civil War Essay
    • Aquatica Boy
    • Slander: Tom Holland
    • Abraham Lincoln
    • BatBoy
Search by typing & pressing enter

YOUR CART

Six Pictures of Keanu Reeves with his eyes closed

SLANDER

Keanu Reeves Is Narcoleptic:
​He Slept Through His Most Famous Performances!

Hollywood bon vivant and world-renowned John Wick celebrity Keanu Reeves shocked the world when he revealed that he suffers from narcolepsy, a sleep disorder that can lead to a person falling asleep in the middle of normal daily tasks.
 
“We’ve known for quite some time about Mr. Reeve’s condition,” said big time director John Snagglestix. “I mean, on that there movie Speed, at first we thought he was doing these really long dramatic pauses, but then we remembered he doesn’t actually do anything dramatic. That’s when we realized he’d fallen asleep.”
 
This could have been the end of Reeve’s career.
 
“I mean nothing against Mr. Reeves,” said some lady that works in the business peripherally. “He’s a sweet, wonderful guy -- kind, generous, good attitude, but he’s fallen asleep in every single role since Point Break.”
 
“Let’s just say we found a way around it,” Snagglestix said with a wink that I wasn’t quite sure how to interpret. “Heck, I know people who have had to finish movies after a key actor has died, so this is nothing. We fixed it. We got a guy.”
 
“You’ve heard of the director, the cameraman? I’m the Keanu man,” said Arnold Stiffenheimer, a former Henson Company puppeteer. “I work very closely with Mr. Reeves and, well, I’m basically manipulating his limp and lifeless body.”
 
Using wires, prosthetics, and a variety of in camera tricks, Stiffenheimer and his crew give Reeves the lifelike performances he’s become known for in ‘Dracula’ and ‘Bill and Ted.’ 
 
“It’s not unlike puppeteering the dead body in the comedy classic ‘Weekend at Bernies’” said someone whose references are still stuck in the 80’s. “Except that its Johnny Mnemonic being puppeted.”
 
“Different shots take different set ups,” Stiffenheimer explained, “But more often than not, I just prop his mouth open with a toothpick – in a kind of a sneer --  and mumble his lines offscreen. It seems to work just fine. Looks like Neo to me!”
 
“Not to toot my own horn,” Stiffenheimer grinned sheepishly, “but some critics say his performances have actually gotten better.”
Proudly powered by Weebly