INFANT'S FINGER PAINTING REVEALS
LOCATION OF ATLANTIS!
NAPLES, ITALY – Don’t throw away your children’s Crayola scribblings and Play-Doh sculptures as they could lead you to the archeological discovery of the century!
A renowned oceanographer credits his 18-month-old son’s finger-painting with providing him the final detail necessary to pinpoint the exact location of the legendary city of Atlantis.
“I spent most of my adult life searching for the remains of that amazing, sub-aquatic metropolis,” says Dr. Lazlo Mitchell, professional oceanographer and part-time archeologist, “The one place I never thought to look was right under my nose.”
Mitchell found the painting under the crib of his son, Otto, and was about to put it up on the refrigerator when he noticed something. It was an almost perfect reproduction of a section of the Mediterranean, the location of which Mitchell refuses to divulge.
“I didn’t recognize it at first because of a huge, green blob in the center, signifying a large land mass that doesn’t exist,” Mitchell says. “When suddenly I realized that just because it’s not there now, doesn’t mean it wasn’t there hundreds of years ago.”
“Impossible,” says child psychologist Heather Lopez. “Maybe if the boy were four or five, and had been surrounded with his father’s obsessive search all his life, maybe then I can see him recreating one of his father’s many maps in finger-paints. But at 18 months… impossible.”
“I don’t care what the so-called `experts’ say,” says Mitchell. “I read about a kid half Otto’s age who predicted both the nuclear bomb and two World Series winners.”
“Besides,” Mitchell says, “I took sonar readings from the precise location my son specified and there is a massive, city-shaped structure down there.”
Mitchell is in the process of acquiring financing for a major exploratory mission, but needless to say, many potential investors remain skeptical.
“I need ships, diving bells, unmanned submersibles that can withstand the pressures of the deep,” Mitchell says. “But the defense department, major universities, and my relatives say they cannot `in good conscience’ commit to such a large undertaking based on an infant’s smeary handprints.”
This, in combination with Mitchell’s other theories on the son of Sasquatch and extraterrestrial Amish colonies on Earth, make many investors dubious about his claim.
“Even my own son doesn’t want me to follow the map,” says Mitchell. “He keeps trying to take it back, saying `Mine! Mine! Mine!’”
Legend and rumor describe the Atlantis that Mitchell seeks in many different ways. Some say it is in pristine condition, a futuristic city frozen in time. Others say it is nothing more than ruins, but may be hiding untold riches below the rubble. Still others suggest that the underwater city is populated by a unique species of mermen and mermaids.
Ask the relentless Dr. Mitchell what he hopes to find there and his answer is simple.
“My destiny,” says Mitchell. “My destiny.”
By Scott D. Peterson as originally printed in the Weekly World News.