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  • Links
  • About
  • Video
  • Audio
  • Found
  • Comics
  • Words
    • Scott Poem
    • God Looks Through Ozone Hole
    • Infant's Finger Painting
    • Lady Satan Rehashed
    • Poltergeist Proof
    • Innocent Goat Man
    • Bowl of Mush
    • 200 Celebration
    • Earthworms
    • Why My Willy is Like Icons of the 70's
    • AI Writes Transformative Hotdog Song
    • Ghost of Widow's Husband
    • Babies Are Useless
    • Monk Urine Is Cleaner
    • George Santos Lies
    • BTS: What Does it Mean
    • Zookeeper Cuts Off Arm
    • HYDROMAN REHASHED
    • I Watch the Super Bowl
    • Tales of Terror - Hold My Hand
    • Oh How He Sat
    • The Change
    • You Got the Lyrics Wrong, Dilweed
    • Woman Chokes on Fortune Cookie
    • The Moon Must Be Stopped
    • Quora Questions
    • My Husband's Inappropriate Remarks
    • Family is a Cult
    • The Price of Success
    • Tales of Terror: The Baby
    • Spot the Differences Army of Darkness
    • I'm All Over It
    • Automatic Thank You Letter
    • Clueless Man
    • What's Buggin You?
    • Child's Playmate is Son of Satan
    • Ask An Expert
    • True Tales of Terror: High Beams
    • Slander Zendaya Buries Puppies Alive
    • Henry Cavill Fired as Superman: Races to Horse to be Paralyzed
    • Crappy Little Free Library Is No Amazon
    • Christmas Wish List
    • Extremist Americans Furious With Extremist Germans
    • Batman vs Hulk
    • Elon Musk Fires Himself
    • Congrats on Your Dumb Baby
    • What I'm Thankful For
    • Donald Trump Blames Matrix
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    • Vegas Disasters
    • Cosby Helps with Anesthesia Shortage
    • Taco Bell Toilet Suicide
    • Ukrainian Mad about Plants
    • Horror For Kids
    • Slander: Britney Spears
    • Elevator Operator
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    • Risk He Had To Take
    • Best Horror
    • Slander: Harry Styles
    • Beautiful Pony
    • Top Ten Wife TV
    • Civil War Essay
    • Aquatica Boy
    • Slander: Tom Holland
    • Abraham Lincoln
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Henry Cavill as Superman looks super serious.

Henry Cavill Fired as Superman:
​Immediately Races to a Horse to be Paralyzed!

 In a stunning turn of events, ridiculously handsome actor Henry Cavill was informed that he will no longer be playing Superman in the DC Extended Cinematic Zach Snyder Universe of Heroes, and the well-built thespian reacted to the news by being thrown from a horse and paralyzed.
 
“It worked for Christopher Reeve,” Cavill said from his bed at Cedar Sinai Hospital where he is being evaluated for spinal injuries, broken bones, and huge mental lapses of judgment. “One little horse toss and suddenly he was the talk of the town. Why couldn’t that work for me?”
 
Doctors caution all celebrities and franchise actors not to purposely induce lifelong medical trauma to their bodies in the hopes of sympathy and attention, reaching out specifically to Ben Affleck who was found taping steaks to his body outside the bear pit at the Los Angeles Zoo.
 
James Gunn, one of the two new DC dictators, expressed dismay that Cavill would take such drastic action.
 
“Movie execs are ephemeral,” Gunn said. “They change with the wind and consequently so do casting decisions. But cervical spinal injuries are forever. Sucks to be you.”
 
“I didn’t know that,” Cavill wheezed over the constant hum of his ventilator. “Maybe I didn’t think this through.”

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