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  • Links
  • About
  • Video
  • Audio
  • Found
  • Comics
  • Words
    • Scott Poem
    • God Looks Through Ozone Hole
    • Infant's Finger Painting
    • Lady Satan Rehashed
    • Poltergeist Proof
    • Innocent Goat Man
    • Bowl of Mush
    • 200 Celebration
    • Earthworms
    • Why My Willy is Like Icons of the 70's
    • AI Writes Transformative Hotdog Song
    • Ghost of Widow's Husband
    • Babies Are Useless
    • Monk Urine Is Cleaner
    • George Santos Lies
    • BTS: What Does it Mean
    • Zookeeper Cuts Off Arm
    • HYDROMAN REHASHED
    • I Watch the Super Bowl
    • Tales of Terror - Hold My Hand
    • Oh How He Sat
    • The Change
    • You Got the Lyrics Wrong, Dilweed
    • Woman Chokes on Fortune Cookie
    • The Moon Must Be Stopped
    • Quora Questions
    • My Husband's Inappropriate Remarks
    • Family is a Cult
    • The Price of Success
    • Tales of Terror: The Baby
    • Spot the Differences Army of Darkness
    • I'm All Over It
    • Automatic Thank You Letter
    • Clueless Man
    • What's Buggin You?
    • Child's Playmate is Son of Satan
    • Ask An Expert
    • True Tales of Terror: High Beams
    • Slander Zendaya Buries Puppies Alive
    • Henry Cavill Fired as Superman: Races to Horse to be Paralyzed
    • Crappy Little Free Library Is No Amazon
    • Christmas Wish List
    • Extremist Americans Furious With Extremist Germans
    • Batman vs Hulk
    • Elon Musk Fires Himself
    • Congrats on Your Dumb Baby
    • What I'm Thankful For
    • Donald Trump Blames Matrix
    • Terror Within
    • What Scares You
    • Halloween Candy
    • Adult Happy Meal
    • Horror Movie Life Lessons
    • Dudley Dursley
    • Yellow Ribbon
    • Empty Nesters
    • Haunted Womb
    • Wolfman of Steel
    • Tales of Terror: Hook
    • After All
    • Elf on a Shelf Spin Offs
    • Pie
    • Baby Poetry
    • Florence of Arabia
    • Alec Baldwin Ten Percent
    • Wife TV Shows Bachelor
    • Breakfast Theresa
    • Sexy Demogorgon
    • Where Is My Toe
    • Pinocchio Protest
    • Vegas Disasters
    • Cosby Helps with Anesthesia Shortage
    • Taco Bell Toilet Suicide
    • Ukrainian Mad about Plants
    • Horror For Kids
    • Slander: Britney Spears
    • Elevator Operator
    • Chickens
    • Risk He Had To Take
    • Best Horror
    • Slander: Harry Styles
    • Beautiful Pony
    • Top Ten Wife TV
    • Civil War Essay
    • Aquatica Boy
    • Slander: Tom Holland
    • Abraham Lincoln
    • BatBoy
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George Santos Official Portrait

​George Santos’s’s Biggest Lies

​George Santos, aka George Devolder, aka Anthony Devolder, aka Caruthers Winchester Rothschild IV, aka The Fonz, has been known to bend the truth occasionally in order to convince people he is not a complete and total failure. Below are a few of his biggest whoppers -- oh, and he invented the Whopper according to Burger Kings R Us.
 
“George Washington was not the first person to say, ‘I cannot tell a lie.’ Before Washington, Julius Caesar said it. And I said it before him.”
 
“Not only am I 110% Jewish, but you know those Jewish space lasers Marjorie Taylor Green discovered? I control them.”
 
“While attending a prestigious prep school, I crushed my SATs with a score of 9300… at the age of three. And I was blind.”
 
“My mother was killed on 9/11… or someone called 911 when she died. One or the other.”
 
“I created the first vaccine, revolutionizing both medicine and science, but I don’t recommend that anyone ever get a vaccine because we have no idea what’s in them.”
 
“I set up a Go Fund Me to pay for tumor surgery for the dog of a homeless vet, but raised so much money that we also gave the dog lipo, breast implants, and a second tail.”
 
“I was such an amazing volleyball star at Bruch College that the International Sports Playing Association of Sports Athlete People renamed the sport Santosballs!” 
 
“I not only worked at Goldman Sachs early in my career, but I was Goldman. And Sachs barely did anything. To be honest, he kinda rode my coattails.”
 
“I lost four employees at the Pulse nightclub. Not during the shooting, but another night when it was really crowded and I couldn’t find them. Oh, and technically I wasn’t in Florida at the time because of a previous commitment to be in a big parade in Brazil… but there are no pictures of me there so don’t look for them.”
 
“I ran the four-minute mile in two minutes. Uphill. In the snow. With no knees.”
 
“I was in the original Top Gun movie and played the Val Kilmer part. Look it up!”
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