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  • Links
  • About
  • Video
  • Audio
  • Found
  • Comics
  • Words
    • Scott Poem
    • God Looks Through Ozone Hole
    • Infant's Finger Painting
    • Lady Satan Rehashed
    • Poltergeist Proof
    • Innocent Goat Man
    • Bowl of Mush
    • 200 Celebration
    • Earthworms
    • Why My Willy is Like Icons of the 70's
    • AI Writes Transformative Hotdog Song
    • Ghost of Widow's Husband
    • Babies Are Useless
    • Monk Urine Is Cleaner
    • George Santos Lies
    • BTS: What Does it Mean
    • Zookeeper Cuts Off Arm
    • HYDROMAN REHASHED
    • I Watch the Super Bowl
    • Tales of Terror - Hold My Hand
    • Oh How He Sat
    • The Change
    • You Got the Lyrics Wrong, Dilweed
    • Woman Chokes on Fortune Cookie
    • The Moon Must Be Stopped
    • Quora Questions
    • My Husband's Inappropriate Remarks
    • Family is a Cult
    • The Price of Success
    • Tales of Terror: The Baby
    • Spot the Differences Army of Darkness
    • I'm All Over It
    • Automatic Thank You Letter
    • Clueless Man
    • What's Buggin You?
    • Child's Playmate is Son of Satan
    • Ask An Expert
    • True Tales of Terror: High Beams
    • Slander Zendaya Buries Puppies Alive
    • Henry Cavill Fired as Superman: Races to Horse to be Paralyzed
    • Crappy Little Free Library Is No Amazon
    • Christmas Wish List
    • Extremist Americans Furious With Extremist Germans
    • Batman vs Hulk
    • Elon Musk Fires Himself
    • Congrats on Your Dumb Baby
    • What I'm Thankful For
    • Donald Trump Blames Matrix
    • Terror Within
    • What Scares You
    • Halloween Candy
    • Adult Happy Meal
    • Horror Movie Life Lessons
    • Dudley Dursley
    • Yellow Ribbon
    • Empty Nesters
    • Haunted Womb
    • Wolfman of Steel
    • Tales of Terror: Hook
    • After All
    • Elf on a Shelf Spin Offs
    • Pie
    • Baby Poetry
    • Florence of Arabia
    • Alec Baldwin Ten Percent
    • Wife TV Shows Bachelor
    • Breakfast Theresa
    • Sexy Demogorgon
    • Where Is My Toe
    • Pinocchio Protest
    • Vegas Disasters
    • Cosby Helps with Anesthesia Shortage
    • Taco Bell Toilet Suicide
    • Ukrainian Mad about Plants
    • Horror For Kids
    • Slander: Britney Spears
    • Elevator Operator
    • Chickens
    • Risk He Had To Take
    • Best Horror
    • Slander: Harry Styles
    • Beautiful Pony
    • Top Ten Wife TV
    • Civil War Essay
    • Aquatica Boy
    • Slander: Tom Holland
    • Abraham Lincoln
    • BatBoy
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FOUND HUMOR



​Pictures I found that I thought were funny...
Picture
”Now boys, wouldn't it be easier if I put that bucket on my lap?"
​

Picture
For all the girls who dreamed of being Barbi Benton…
​you can dream bigger.

Silver plates of insects to eat including silkworms and bamboo worms
"Is that a beetle in your teeth or are you just happy to see me?"

(By mocking what other cultures find perfectly normal,
​I’m really just showing my own ignorance, intolerance, and ethnocentrism!)
​

Atomic Energy Lab playset toy from the 50s
”Mom! Have you seen my fissionable materials?

​I think the baby got into my plutonium again!!!”
​
Picture
Dream Kitchen? I'm sorry, who dreams of working in the kitchen?

#HowManyOfThoseLittlePiecesGotSwallowed?

​
A 1970's Milton Bradley board game called Town Dump
Town Dump! 

Getting little Becky ready for years of getting dumped on. 

Now hold on -- I'm not saying she's white trash.
​That's a bunch of rubbish! She's just a litter girl! What a waste...


Kitty Karry-All Doll Cindy Brady's Doll
Kitty Karry-All, the doll Cindy Brady had on the Brady Bunch,
had perhaps the greatest catch phrase in the history of advertising:
“She’s Got a Bunch of Pockets!”
​
Picture

DON'T OF TIGER

We saw this poster a few years back listing the "Don't of Tiger"
with rules on how to act around wild tigers in captivity. 


I can think of one more rule that they left out.

DON'T GO INTO THE TIGER CAGE, DINGUS!
​

Picture
SUPER SPANKING FETISH!

I'm not sure if I should be more concerned
that Pa Kent is beating his son with a hairbrush
​or with the seductive smile on Clark's face.


Enclosed Steel Baby Crib That Looks More Like a Cage
BABY CRIB FOR SALE: EXTRA SECURE!

Preowned all steel baby crib / enclosure for sale. Good for feral child, multiple children, or large pets. Only one owner. Crib kept child contained from infancy to childhood, nearly 12 years with only ONE breakout and very limited casualties! Mattress not included; you wouldn't want it. $200 OBO. Local Pick Up Only. And if you hear vaguely human growling from the garage, DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!


Picture
It’s every writer’s worst nightmare.

You finally get the most amazing idea for a book or script
only to find out someone has already done it. 
​

Picture
Okay, I’m not even going to comment on the whole “color of urine” thing,
but why is he so happy that people have been peeing on his wall?
​

Picture
"With a little imagination, school can be fun!  

Right kids?  

Say it.  

Say 'school can be fun.'  

​SAY SCHOOL CAN BE FUN!!!!"

Picture
They're here to kill me, aren't they?
An Archie comic book cover where Betty and Veronica have Farrah Fawcett hair
Some say that the key to comedy is timing, but some comedy is timeless!
​

Early Versions of Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse walk-around characters at Disneyland
"Walt, I’m at the park and we have a big rat problem..."
​

A container of Coprophagia Stool Eating Deterrent for Dogs
Stool Eating Deterrent!

Finally! After all this time, someone has come up with a cure for…
oh, wait. It’s just for dogs.
​

A Carnival Type Poster called A Lap Dance With the Lobster Lady
I was thinking of writing my autobiography,
but the title I wanted was already taken. 
​

Norman Rockwell painting of infatuated teens at a campfire but the hotdogs have burned.
It doesn’t matter how cute she is,
there won’t be a second date if she burns your wiener. 
​

A  giant 20-foot tall puppet marionette girl
Scared of AI becoming truly sentient? 
 
Worried about killer robots rising up against humanity? 
 
Not gonna happen. 
 
Man has already built the thing that will destroy us all: GIANT PUPPETS!


A helpless looking baby in a plastic cylinder getting an X-ray
Need a last minute stocking stuffer?

Give them a classic gift they'll always remember.

B A B Y   I N   A   B L E N D E R !


Retirement Quiz holiday themed
I can save 99% of you some time. The answer is no.

Taxi Soil Soiled Warning Sign Solids
I’m so glad they specified “or solids”
because I almost committed a very serious faux pas.
​
The cover of a comic book called
And yet they can beat you...
​


A brass statue of a man with wings and a goat head with a star on its forehead
Only 27 shopping days until Christmas
​and nothing says "I love you, Mom"
like a brass, goat-headed devil man!


Warning Sign that says
Uhhh... couldn't you put this warning just about everywhere?
​
​
Cartoon of a Bill sitting on Capital Hill from the Schoolhouse Rock show
Remember the innocence of the past...
​before everything went to hell.


Women box on a rooftop circa 1940
Okay, fine, girl-on-girl rooftop boxing; that’s great.
​But when do we get to the juggling pins?!?
A warning sign on a pool gate about guests with Diarrhea
Uhhh... define "active"

Because a week-and-a-half-ago, I had the runs, but it didn't really do anything;
​it just sat there. So am I good to go?

More Poop Humor
A predator movie poster with Harvey Weinstein's face
The scariest predator Hollywood ever produced.

(Okay, technically I didn't FIND this picture, but if I'd looked hard enough I probably could have.)
​

Picture
ATTACK OF THE POTATO PEOPLE!
 
You called them Couch Potatoes.
You called them Small Potatoes.
You called them Spuds McKenzie.
 
Now they’re steamed, and baked, and au gratin,
​and they’re about to drop you like a hot potato.
 
This Fall, the Tater Tots are all grown up… and ready to MASH!
​

Two Toddlers Wear Michael Myers masks from Halloween
My kids wore masks years before covid.
More Halloween Humor
Four elderly people celebrate Halloween, circa 1950
In the 50’s, Halloween merriment was enjoyed by all ages,
​even those well into their twenties.

 
#WhyDoYoungPeopleFromTheFiftiesAlwaysLookLikeTheyAreInTheirSixties?​
More Halloween Humor
A girl in a mask and pigtails for Halloween looks scary.
A photographer visiting rural Kansas disappeared on October 31st, 1954.
His brutalized body was discovered in an abandoned farmhouse six weeks later.
The police found his broken camera nearby, developed the film inside it,
and discovered that this was the last image he ever photographed.
Investigators began to call the subject of the photograph “The Pigtailed Killer.”
 
And now, thanks to the creative minds behind Leg Avenue and Spirit Halloween, you can purchase your very own
​“Sexy Pigtailed Killer” costume, guaranteed to frighten and arouse everyone at your next Halloween party!
​

Six kids sing with big pumpkin cutouts
Halloween, oh Halloween!
We'll sing it 'til we burst a spleen!
'Cause teacher filled each boy's canteen
​With way way way too much caffeine!
More Halloween Humor
Two tall statues wrestle
Another forty-foot-tall statue of a guy
ripping an upside-down man in half at the crotch?  


Not again. 

I mean, sure, people will love it,
but does it really say, “Welcome to the Children’s Zoo?”


Children stare down at the lower part of a clown
A festive clown has a magical influence over children of all ages.
This one is using his power to make them look at his crotch. 
​

Sally and Linus in a pumpkin patch

Best Pick Up Line Ever:

“No, I swear, if you come out alone into a dark field with me
​in the middle of the night, I’ll show you my Great Pumpkin!”
​

Two puppets of pigs in turbans play the xylophone

No, no, no.
It’s very simple.
I want two xylophone players in festive headdresses,
but they are pigs
​and they’re also marionettes.
​

A monument dedicated to All Who Hurl

Just one of my favorite landmarks honoring losing your lunch.
​

a book cover featuring several African animal droppings

Okay, maybe the Sharper Image catalog isn’t the worst one I’ve ever seen.
​

A man slides down a giant vertical water slide
Ten Stupid Captions for this Picture
 
“Mind if I drop in?”
“Hey, I can see my house from up here!”
“So this is why they call it Enema’s Revenge…”
“I think I made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.”
“On second thought, I’ll take the stairs.”
“It was a fun summer, but it’s going to be a long fall.”
“To get to the other side!”
“Is there a movie on this flight?”
“Slide? I thought you said slice!”
“I’m dropping faster than the stock market. Thanks, Obama.”
​

The first panel of a comic book story entitled
Sounds like every date I had in college...
More Cartoon Humor
A pizza with a human face in it
Is that Chicago style?
​

a Jack and Jill magazine featuring a scary clown
Okay, seriously? “Curly Clown” here is literally luring the kids over with ice cream and a puppy. He has a printed picture of the two kids in his pocket indicating premeditation. He is playing footsie with the boy, prodding him in the area that his bathing suit covers. When he asks them to dive down to his “Island of the Blue Dolphins,” it’s time to put these kids’ faces on the side of a milk carton. Instead of “Stories, Riddles, Puzzles, Jokes” it should read “Stories, Riddles, Puzzles, Horrifying Child Dismemberment.” 
 
On the other hand, it’s only thirty-five cents, so… not too bad. 

​
a woman wears a Shaun Cassidy costume
Her keen ability to subtly blend into any crowd stopped evolving about 1978.
​

Two frogs appear to be having sex
Reminds me of our honeymoon!  

​(We saw a lot of frogs on our honeymoon.)
​

A record cover entitled
Is getting girls to talk more really something we want to promote? Kidding!!!
​

A baby doll with an apple in its mouth
People who leave their Christmas decorations up past January are so tacky.
MORE INAPPROPRIATE BABY HUMOR
a comic book panel with corrupt police
Yes, who'd suspect the police of doing wrong?
​And while you're at it, ask that priest over there to babysit these strapping young men. 
A real baby beside a fake two-headed demon baby

At least one of them can sleep.
​Demon triplets, am I right?

​

Bert and Ernie in bed
The Bert and Ernie question is finally put to bed.
An ad for Bozo mayonnaise
It's been too long since I had a classic turnip and egg omelette.
An Archie comic book where Archie imitates Michael Jackson

Any comment I add will just make it worse.

A snake crawls up a seal's nose
And you thought spiders crawling in your ears was bad.
Text about kids playing Pokemon Go at the US Holocaust museum

"This is 'Merica! Not Commie France. You cain't tell me what I kin do!"
A large plastic bottle of Daddies Favorite Brown Sauce
Trust me. You do not want to see Daddies least favourite brown sauce.
A badly made spongebob squarepants statue
Warning! Do not use opening as a glory hole or you may get Krusty Krabs.
A restaurant called Young Dong
No thank you. I prefer the classic goodness that comes from an old dong. 
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