​THINGS NOT TO SAY TO YOUR WIFE
​WHEN YOU BECOME EMPTY NESTERS

Remember when our kids were little and they still needed you?
 
Boy, I thought when the kids left that smell would go away. 
 
I know you wanted a scrapbooking room or workout area, but I think I’m going to turn our son’s bedroom into a miniature golf course… you know, for fun!
 
The children we knew are gone forever and we’ll never see them again.
 
Now that the kids aren’t underfoot, I can really hear your deviated septum.
 
Remember when our kids were little and they still liked you?
 
I kinda hope that one of the kids gets knocked up so we can have grandkids.
 
Wait, we don’t have to set a good example anymore, so what’s with the brussels sprouts?
 
Just an FYI: We don’t have to stay together for the sake of the kids anymore. 
 
Remember when our kids were little and they still talked to you?
 
Are you just gonna sit there all night or are you gonna get off your keister and do something?
 
I don’t know, what do you want to eat?
 
I have nothing left to say to you.
 
Wow, we’re really old.