ELON MUSK FIRES HIMSELF

Twitter President Elon Musk, upset with dissent among his employees, fired everyone in the company, not realizing that included Musk himself.
 
Security escorted a visibly angry Musk from the premises and refused to allow him back into the building. 
 
Former staffers confirmed that the problems began at a meeting at Twitter Headquarters in San Francisco last week where Musk made several questionable new suggestions for the social media platform including:

• Replacing the iconic blue bird logo with an extreme close up of Musk’s face
• Discontinue work-from-home options unless employee’s home is on Mars
• Offer discounted verifications after Thanksgiving under the banner Black Friday Matters
• Random employee interrogations to see how “hardcore” they really are
• Only allow hate speech on the platform

 
When the majority of people in the room protested his recommendations, Musk “flew into a rage” and after kicking a trashcan and spitting on the floor, he announced the massive firing of every employee.

Now the company that Musk paid $44 billion for only a few weeks ago is available to anyone who wants it, like a fumbled football waiting to be picked up. As of the time of this posting, no one has stepped forward to take up the reins.