​INTELLIGENT SIGNAL FROM DEEP SPACE CONTAINS MUSIC… FROM THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY!

Scientists at that place with the giant antennas probing the deepest recesses of space have announced that they have intercepted an intelligent signal from beyond our solar system that is composed of rudimentary musical recordings including the early songs of the hit seventies TV band the Partridge Family.

“We were thrilled to find any signal at all and then amazed to hear the tonal equivalencies of our own musical scales,” scientist number one said. “But when we heard the opening refrain of ‘I Woke Up in Love This Morning,’ we literally crapped ourselves.” 

Astrotheorists point out that Earth has been broadcasting radio and television signals into the universe for over one hundred years and posit that an advanced species could certainly intercept, interpret, and understand those signals.

​“But why would a civilization with the advanced technology to travel lightyears through space be playing ‘I Think I Love You’ and ‘C’mon Get Happy?” asked scientist number two (who was slightly taller and much less pleasant than scientist number one). “I mean, I’m as big a David Cassidy fan as anyone, but this is ridiculous.”

When asked for comment, Shirly Jones, former Partridge Family singer and the biological mother of teen heartthrob Shaun Cassidy, had only this to say.

“Point me… in the Direction of Albuquerque.”