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  • Links
  • About
  • Video
  • Audio
  • Found
  • Comics
  • Words
    • Scott Poem
    • God Looks Through Ozone Hole
    • Infant's Finger Painting
    • Lady Satan Rehashed
    • Poltergeist Proof
    • Innocent Goat Man
    • Bowl of Mush
    • 200 Celebration
    • Earthworms
    • Why My Willy is Like Icons of the 70's
    • AI Writes Transformative Hotdog Song
    • Ghost of Widow's Husband
    • Babies Are Useless
    • Monk Urine Is Cleaner
    • George Santos Lies
    • BTS: What Does it Mean
    • Zookeeper Cuts Off Arm
    • HYDROMAN REHASHED
    • I Watch the Super Bowl
    • Tales of Terror - Hold My Hand
    • Oh How He Sat
    • The Change
    • You Got the Lyrics Wrong, Dilweed
    • Woman Chokes on Fortune Cookie
    • The Moon Must Be Stopped
    • Quora Questions
    • My Husband's Inappropriate Remarks
    • Family is a Cult
    • The Price of Success
    • Tales of Terror: The Baby
    • Spot the Differences Army of Darkness
    • I'm All Over It
    • Automatic Thank You Letter
    • Clueless Man
    • What's Buggin You?
    • Child's Playmate is Son of Satan
    • Ask An Expert
    • True Tales of Terror: High Beams
    • Slander Zendaya Buries Puppies Alive
    • Henry Cavill Fired as Superman: Races to Horse to be Paralyzed
    • Crappy Little Free Library Is No Amazon
    • Christmas Wish List
    • Extremist Americans Furious With Extremist Germans
    • Batman vs Hulk
    • Elon Musk Fires Himself
    • Congrats on Your Dumb Baby
    • What I'm Thankful For
    • Donald Trump Blames Matrix
    • Terror Within
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    • Adult Happy Meal
    • Horror Movie Life Lessons
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    • Elf on a Shelf Spin Offs
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    • Baby Poetry
    • Florence of Arabia
    • Alec Baldwin Ten Percent
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    • Breakfast Theresa
    • Sexy Demogorgon
    • Where Is My Toe
    • Pinocchio Protest
    • Vegas Disasters
    • Cosby Helps with Anesthesia Shortage
    • Taco Bell Toilet Suicide
    • Ukrainian Mad about Plants
    • Horror For Kids
    • Slander: Britney Spears
    • Elevator Operator
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    • Risk He Had To Take
    • Best Horror
    • Slander: Harry Styles
    • Beautiful Pony
    • Top Ten Wife TV
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CHICKENS

a chicken stares at camera
I hunt. Born to slay. Stalk. Pounce. Slaughter. A high stakes game of chicken. The more I kill. The more I need. To kill. Every town. Every county. Every backwoods farm. Has chickens. Clucking. Clacking. Strutting. Buck buck bucking. 

The colonel has come home to roost.

Pecking and bobbing and poking and pecking and bobbing and pecking and poking. They peck poison. Poison seed. My seed. Hot chicks ingesting my very seed. Groggy. Unsuspecting. Chickens.

Into the henhouse. Underneath the coop. Too late to chicken out. Hands fondle eggs. Handle eggs. Fondle eggs. The unborn. Yolk between my fingers. I smear death. Across my cheeks. War paint. 


Chickens. Can smell fear. Can taste pain. Can see death. But don’t count your chickens before they’re dispatched. 

I attack. Screaming foul. They run like a chicken with its head about to be cut off. The pollos are loco. Come to me ladies; I’m a chick magnet. My pulse quickens. Fingers. On their legs. On their breasts. Encircling feathered throats. Squeezing. Grinding. Kneading. Needing to kill. Choking the chicken. Finger lickin’. 

They scream my name. No. They are silent. Dead. Stay dead. I win. Winner winner, chicken dinner.

I slaughter chickens. Not as a job. As an adventure.



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