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  • Links
  • About
  • Video
  • Audio
  • Found
  • Comics
  • Words
    • Scott Poem
    • God Looks Through Ozone Hole
    • Infant's Finger Painting
    • Lady Satan Rehashed
    • Poltergeist Proof
    • Innocent Goat Man
    • Bowl of Mush
    • 200 Celebration
    • Earthworms
    • Why My Willy is Like Icons of the 70's
    • AI Writes Transformative Hotdog Song
    • Ghost of Widow's Husband
    • Babies Are Useless
    • Monk Urine Is Cleaner
    • George Santos Lies
    • BTS: What Does it Mean
    • Zookeeper Cuts Off Arm
    • HYDROMAN REHASHED
    • I Watch the Super Bowl
    • Tales of Terror - Hold My Hand
    • Oh How He Sat
    • The Change
    • You Got the Lyrics Wrong, Dilweed
    • Woman Chokes on Fortune Cookie
    • The Moon Must Be Stopped
    • Quora Questions
    • My Husband's Inappropriate Remarks
    • Family is a Cult
    • The Price of Success
    • Tales of Terror: The Baby
    • Spot the Differences Army of Darkness
    • I'm All Over It
    • Automatic Thank You Letter
    • Clueless Man
    • What's Buggin You?
    • Child's Playmate is Son of Satan
    • Ask An Expert
    • True Tales of Terror: High Beams
    • Slander Zendaya Buries Puppies Alive
    • Henry Cavill Fired as Superman: Races to Horse to be Paralyzed
    • Crappy Little Free Library Is No Amazon
    • Christmas Wish List
    • Extremist Americans Furious With Extremist Germans
    • Batman vs Hulk
    • Elon Musk Fires Himself
    • Congrats on Your Dumb Baby
    • What I'm Thankful For
    • Donald Trump Blames Matrix
    • Terror Within
    • What Scares You
    • Halloween Candy
    • Adult Happy Meal
    • Horror Movie Life Lessons
    • Dudley Dursley
    • Yellow Ribbon
    • Empty Nesters
    • Haunted Womb
    • Wolfman of Steel
    • Tales of Terror: Hook
    • After All
    • Elf on a Shelf Spin Offs
    • Pie
    • Baby Poetry
    • Florence of Arabia
    • Alec Baldwin Ten Percent
    • Wife TV Shows Bachelor
    • Breakfast Theresa
    • Sexy Demogorgon
    • Where Is My Toe
    • Pinocchio Protest
    • Vegas Disasters
    • Cosby Helps with Anesthesia Shortage
    • Taco Bell Toilet Suicide
    • Ukrainian Mad about Plants
    • Horror For Kids
    • Slander: Britney Spears
    • Elevator Operator
    • Chickens
    • Risk He Had To Take
    • Best Horror
    • Slander: Harry Styles
    • Beautiful Pony
    • Top Ten Wife TV
    • Civil War Essay
    • Aquatica Boy
    • Slander: Tom Holland
    • Abraham Lincoln
    • BatBoy
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Chances are, he won’t answer  -- he’s got better things to do -- but you can always try!
I have a question. During intercourse, my penis heats up to such a degree that it spews hot steam and whistles. It burns my partner and has garnered me a most embarrassing nickname. What can I do?  
     Steamboat Willie, Orlando, FL
 
What army does the Surgeon General command? I have to write a paper. 
     Billy Nosegoblin, Ms. SnotMarple’s 4th Grade Class
 
Can you tell me what this dream means? I dreamed last night that I was eating these huge white, fluffy marshmallows. And when I woke up… my pillow was bright red with blood. I had chewed off my own hand.  
    Dan Dobson, Los Angeles, CA
 
Hypothetically if both of your parents were gunned down in front of you when you were a small boy, would you: A) Cry a lot, but grow up to be more independent in the long run. B) Cry a lot and always have trouble making close emotional ties for fear of losing someone again.  Or C) Put on tights and ears and fight crime with bat-shaped paraphernalia?  
    Bruce Wayne, Gotham City
 
Why do extremist groups use the Bible to support the things they believe? I mean, taken out of context, there are passage in the Good Book that advocate sodomy, breast-feeding in restaurants, and fellating baby goats. Where will it end?
    The Agnostic Faith League
 
If Superman was to vs. to Hulk, who woulda won? Howsabout Thor and Hulk, huh? Or Captain America against Little Lotta? The Richie Rich – Aquaman bout? Or what about the X-Men vs. Jennifer Coolidge from White Lotus? Or what say you and me, right here, right now, huh?
     Dirk “I’ve Got Issues” Bulltrots
 
Last night my girlfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of passion she cried out “Fred!” Should I be worried?”  
      Joe M.
 
This morning my girlfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of passion I cried out “Fred!” Now should I be worried?  
      Joe M.
 
Today, Fred and I were having sex and in the heat of passion he cried out “I’m going to carve your heart out and eat it for lunch!” Should I be worried?  
      Joe M.

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