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  • About
  • Video
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  • Comics
  • Words
    • Scott Poem
    • God Looks Through Ozone Hole
    • Infant's Finger Painting
    • Lady Satan Rehashed
    • Poltergeist Proof
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    • Bowl of Mush
    • 200 Celebration
    • Earthworms
    • Why My Willy is Like Icons of the 70's
    • AI Writes Transformative Hotdog Song
    • Ghost of Widow's Husband
    • Babies Are Useless
    • Monk Urine Is Cleaner
    • George Santos Lies
    • BTS: What Does it Mean
    • Zookeeper Cuts Off Arm
    • HYDROMAN REHASHED
    • I Watch the Super Bowl
    • Tales of Terror - Hold My Hand
    • Oh How He Sat
    • The Change
    • You Got the Lyrics Wrong, Dilweed
    • Woman Chokes on Fortune Cookie
    • The Moon Must Be Stopped
    • Quora Questions
    • My Husband's Inappropriate Remarks
    • Family is a Cult
    • The Price of Success
    • Tales of Terror: The Baby
    • Spot the Differences Army of Darkness
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    • Automatic Thank You Letter
    • Clueless Man
    • What's Buggin You?
    • Child's Playmate is Son of Satan
    • Ask An Expert
    • True Tales of Terror: High Beams
    • Slander Zendaya Buries Puppies Alive
    • Henry Cavill Fired as Superman: Races to Horse to be Paralyzed
    • Crappy Little Free Library Is No Amazon
    • Christmas Wish List
    • Extremist Americans Furious With Extremist Germans
    • Batman vs Hulk
    • Elon Musk Fires Himself
    • Congrats on Your Dumb Baby
    • What I'm Thankful For
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    • Ukrainian Mad about Plants
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    • Slander: Britney Spears
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    • Slander: Harry Styles
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Four toys from McDonalds adult happy meal

I Just Bought an Adult Happy Meal Toy
​on Ebay for $150, Suckers!

I can’t believe I outbid all of you other clowns (no offense, Ronald!) and will soon be in possession of my very own Adult Happy Meal toy, the uber popular collectible that has sold out at McDonalds restaurants across the country. Nice work, McMoron!
 
For only 150 bucks, plus shipping, I stole this gem away from all the other less sophisticated collectors like a modern day hamburglar and now I can’t help but laugh at them for their short-sightedness and naivete. When this baby gets up to 200, 300, or even 400 dollars in the next few months, I’ll be sitting pretty and they’ll be feeling sh*tty! Over one billion customers just got served! Boom! 
 
For you naysayers who predict that the mania over Adult Happy Meal toys will wane like every other collectible fad over the last twenty years – that’s a Ray Kroc of Shite. I can guarantee you that this frenzy will last as long as an unrefrigerated quarter pounder, i.e. forever! I may have lost most of my savings on Beanie Babies, all of my retirement funds on Cabbage Patch Kids, and the paltry sums I made donating blood and semen on Furbies and Teddy Ruxpins, but that’s not going to happen to me again! 
 
So don’t come crawling to me a year from now when these small, mass-produced, cheap, plastic chotchkes are more desired than an out-of-season McRib and literally worth their weight in gold (or golden arches) and you’re crying in your shamrock shake because you missed the boat. You losers can kiss my McNuggets; I’m the Big Mac in town now and the only thing getting super-sized here is my bank account! I’m lovin’ it!

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